Old Fashioned "Spouse Catching" Recipes, I: Meatloaf

When I was growing up, there was a saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. At that time, that meant feeding a man roast beef, mashed potatoes and apple pie.

As men became more sophisticated ― right along with women by the way ― quiche and an excellent salad replaced meat and potatoes as man-trapping fodder, or to be more PC and inclusive, spouse-trapping.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. These days, it is unusual for men, metrosexual or otherwise, to admit to a craving for bloody meat; offering them some might be such an unexpected kindness and acknowledgement of their hunter nature that they’d fall for you instantly. Indeed, it is unusual for men or women to acknowledge the need for the occasional meat meal in some circles, and either gender might relish a chance to act the cave-person for an hour or so.

The meaty meal below constitutes a comfort food, as well. These days, all over the western world, finding some comfort is pretty much a daily necessity. Downsized pay checks and lost jobs. Ruined credit. Being “over housed” and undersold. Daily disasters from oil well blowouts to political wrangling to non-PC immigrant bashing to the dearth of worthwhile entertainment.

Here’s a main dish that does the comfort food job admirably, and has been known as a “spouse snagger” as well. No, it has not been in my family for years. In fact, it arrived with my first husband, in a little book of handwritten recipes given to him by a friend in the Army; he was a second lieutenant at the time, living in Bachelor Officer’s Quarters, and wanting more to use the little kitchen at the end of the hall than to eat beans in the officer’s mess. I guess one might say he snagged me with the recipe. (I just spoke with him, as it happens; if these recipes “snag,” they apparently also come with guarantees of continued friendly feeling even after divorces and remarriage, not a bad thing at all.)

A sort of warning

If the target of your affections is watching his or her cholesterol, you may want to substitute ground turkey for the beef, or at least half the beef, although I have no idea what that would do to the flavor. Comfort is best served, at least from the food texture, smell and taste points of view, through the original fats and sugars. I figure almost everyone can take a little full fat comfort now and then.

Paul’s Meat Loaf

This meatloaf is sweet and tangy, as well as beefy. It makes great sandwiches, especially on home-made bread, but any non-puffy bread will live up to the meatloaf’s muscular character. (If all you’ve got on hand is store-bought white, toasting it will help it hold up to the meatloaf’s heft.)

Ingredients

2 c. fresh minced bread crumbs

¾ c. minced onion

¼ c. minced green pepper (or just use the whole darn thing!)

2 eggs

2 lb. ground chuck

2 tbsp. horseradish

2 ½ tsp. salt

1 tsp powdered mustard

¼ c. milk

¼ c. catsup

½ c. catsup

Method

Break up the ground chuck and beat the eggs slightly, then toss chuck and eggs into a bowl with all the other stuff except the ½ c. catsup, the last ingredient.

Use your CLEAN hands to squeeze the living daylights out of it.

When it’s well mixed, either pack it into a 9-inch oblong loaf pan, or create a free-form loaf on another pan. (I prefer the latter, especially if the meat is quite fatty. Then most of the fat drains away; don’t worry, the recipe is moist enough to tolerate some amount of drying out this way. And really fatty meat packed into the oblong loaf pan sometimes produces a loaf too moist and even greasy.)

Form a little well the length of the loaf in the middle of the top; don’t ask me why; we’ve always done it this way. Then spread the ½ c. catsup the length of the loaf, including into the little channel.

Bake at 400 degrees F. for 50 min. or until cooked through and no more than very mildly pinkish.

Serve with potatoes or noodles and a green veg or salad.